I Am…A Mother

Years ago I started an identity series titled I Am. This year is dedicated to more posts from that series:  

I Am (Introduction)

I Am…Beloved 

The Woman I Am 

I Am…Christian

I Am…Daughter

I Am…Creative

I Am…Millennial

I Am…African

I Am…Kenyan

I Am…Becoming A Wife

I Am…A Pastor’s Wife

Motherhood is many different things. There’s no one-size-fits-all template and these are a few snippets of what it’s been like for me so far. 

Motherhood is baking cookies. One of the things that made my postpartum period fun was making time to do something for me each day. I’m not talking about bare minimum needs like taking a shower and having a meal. I mean going out of your way to do something for yourself that has little or nothing to do with the baby. For me, my one thing became baking chocolate chip cookies (and thoroughly indulging in them!). 

Motherhood is saying no and letting that no be a full sentence. My time is even more precious than it used to be. Every yes I give to one thing is a no to a dozen other things. Every no I give makes room for a yes that’s needed. I don’t spend my time on anyone or anything that devalues it. 

Motherhood is gaining all manner of random superpowers. Doing daily tasks with one hand. Fitting a ludicrous number of items in one diaper bag. Taking on a full day of work and life on negligible sleep. Nailing the landing on the bed without waking the baby up (if you know, YOU KNOW!) Interpreting dozens of different cries and babbles with uncanny accuracy. Comic book heroes have nothing on mothers!

Motherhood is a divine mystery. Right from conception to pregnancy to childbirth to raising a child. I’m constantly in awe at the cellular detail in how God created us. Fearfully and wonderfully made has taken on new meaning for me. 

Motherhood is falling in love with my husband all over again. From the laughter that comes with racing around the dining table to the squeals of joy at any dog sighting, fatherhood has introduced me to a whole new dimension of my husband. It’s a wonder to behold.

Motherhood is making a thousand different decisions. Every day. I used to joke about how exhausting wedding planning was because of all the minutia of decisions you have to make. Then I became a mother. What does the baby eat? How long do they sleep? Are they too hot? Are they getting bored? I’ve come to find it’s as simple or as complicated as you make it. Me? I’m all about simplicity. 

Motherhood is learning to love God in new ways. My devotion to Him these days is punctuated by tiny hands and tiny feet. They’re not a distraction or a disruption. They’re a glorious addition to my life offered to Him as a living sacrifice. The number of things the Holy Spirit prepared me for well in advance throughout my pregnancy and into motherhood fill me with awe. He is a Helper with nothing too big or small for His attention. He’s there in my joy and my frustration. He’s there in my peace and my overwhelm. He’s there when I am sure about what I’m doing and when I have absolutely no clue. He’s there to remind me He’s there. 

Motherhood is starring in a full-time comedy show. Tiny humans are hilarious creatures. Their logic utterly amuses me to no end. Parenting memes deserve a special place in human history. I can’t tell you the number of times I have belly laughed at a meme that needed no explanation whatsoever. 

Motherhood is being a good neighbour to my tiny human. Learning how to be her mother and also be her friend. Her body may be small for now but her spirit is mighty. If I cannot honour her in her infancy, there’s no magical change that will happen as she gets older. I take time to listen to what she’s saying and what she’s not. I pay attention to what she’s doing and her invitations to join her. I advocate for her until such a time as she’s able to do it for herself. Even then, I’ll be right there backing her up.

Motherhood is such a crazy adventure. I remember joking with a mama friend one time about how confidently hospital staff leave you with your newborn after birth. And you’re there wondering where they’re going. Because what on earth are you supposed to do with the tiny human staring back at you? 

Ahhh…the memories. But you figure it out. One feed, one diaper change, one bath at a time. You and your tiny human get to know each other. Sometimes its love at first sight with all the butterflies and goosebumps possible. Sometimes its love that steadily grows in the midnight hours as you pace and fuss and cuddle and do all the things together while the rest of the world sleeps. 

Motherhood is glorious. It’s one of my most sacred honours. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. 

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