Books Christianity

Chosen Not Cheated: Life Edition

Earlier this year, my girl – Koki Oyuke – published a book aptly titled: Chosen Not Cheated. This month, my posts are a tribute to her book (and life) message. More details on the book after the post.  

“At a certain point, you have to decide to start living your story and stop waiting to live the one you think you deserve.”

Koki Oyuke (Chosen Not Cheated)

Sometimes being chosen by God feels like a rip off. We’re emphatic about the promises of God over our lives until we start to question why those promises and our reality are worlds apart.

Yet God’s promises are rarely instantaneous. More often than not there’s an in-between of waiting where you have to straddle your present reality with the future you know you could have but can’t quite grasp yet.

Waiting isn’t easy. It stirs up all sorts of questions in our hearts. These are some of the ones that have been voiced in my heart over the years and some of the truths I’ve learned to hold onto in my seasons of waiting.

Why do I have to wait?

We feel cheated when we realize we have to wait.

God’s promises are given to us on credit. He does indeed speak the end from the beginning – telling you what you’ll get in the end then beginning the work of getting you there.

This confuses us because the world works the opposite way. First you do the work to earn something, then you get it.

So we tend to collapse God promising us something with us being ready for it now.

But in God, we’re working from ownership of promise X not for ownership of promise X.

Waiting then serves to prune us and increase our fruitfulness as stewards of God’s promises.

Every obvious and hidden thing concerning you and whatever you’re waiting for will find expression while you wait.

And not everything that comes to light is pleasant.

You may discover all the ways you’re impatient, too fast, doubtful, proud, entitled, etc; all these are things that you need to address with God so you can become a better steward of what you’re waiting for.

God has already chosen you as a steward for every promise known and unknown to you. He’s not looking for reasons to disqualify you. He’s just trying to help you be in the best position and condition to receive and enjoy what He’s promised you.

Why do I have to wait?

We feel cheated when we think we’re the only ones who are waiting/have had to wait.

There’s no one who’s not waiting on God for something. One of the biggest disservices we do to ourselves and each other is to look at the tiny fraction of someone’s life you’re aware about and make conclusions about the entirety of their life.

When we compare our lives with another’s and make the assumption that they didn’t have to wait for what we did, or for as long as we have…we’ll easily end up qualifying our waiting as “unfair”.

But, if we’re honest, we know little to nothing about their journey. It’s terribly presumptuous to think that someone started waiting on God for something when they told you about it or when you found out about it. How do you know it hasn’t been a lifelong desire hidden in their hearts? How do you know they’ve not been going through their journey of waiting in private?

Only God knows the extent of trust each one of us has placed in Him for our lives.

Nobody gets out of this Christian life without growing the fruit of patience. The only difference is that some have learned how to wait better than others.

God has chosen to unravel all our lives in seasons, including those that require us to wait. When you’ve known the ache of waiting, it’s all the more reason to rejoice with they who have walked into their breakthrough. Because you’ve had a taste of that ache and know exactly what getting what you’ve been waiting for means.

Why do I have to wait?

We feel cheated when we don’t think we have a choice in our waiting.

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a season and thought – this is so not what I signed up for? I sure have.

When we feel like God has forced us to wait for something without just cause, it can throw us into despondency.

God has chosen for us to wait on Him for certain things. But that’s only half the equation. We also need to choose to embrace our waiting.

Some of those who know me in person have heard me say – this is the life I chose – in reference to some aspect of my life. I say it casually but the heart of it is a very intentional declaration.

I don’t have to do this. I get to do this.  

God has given us all free will. We don’t have to do anything as far as He’s concerned. We get to make choices. Waiting is one of them and so is how we choose to wait.

You can wait miserably as you lament about how unfair God is to you and dwell on everything you consider negative in your waiting.

Or you can wait circumspectly, with the right perspective – remembering the truth of God’s faithfulness and partnering with the work He’s doing in you to make you a better steward.

Either way, waiting is an active choice on our part. Even in running from it or trying to bury our head in the sand about it, we are making a choice.

Why do I have to wait?

If you understand the purpose of waiting, then you’ll understand the nature of waiting. It must stretch you. It must cause you press into God more than you ever have before and depend on Him more than you ever thought possible. It must reveal things to you, about yourself, about God, about others, about life.

This cannot happen if waiting is something comfortable that you do on cruise mode.

It will be somewhat manageable on some days, quite uncomfortable on others and pretty unbearable from time to time.

But rather than curse God in our delays and denials, we can choose to learn to seek His face, especially when we don’t feel like it or don’t want to.

If you want to learn more about how to do that, then Chosen Not Cheated is a book you need to read.

Book Blurb:

Chosen Not Cheated is a story about going back to the place where the light shone in your eyes. Back to the place where you feel weightless, and with your dreams within reach. It’s a story about becoming in the in-between, thin and hard places you find yourself in life. And it’s seeing for yourself, I mean really seeing for yourself, all the ways you’re chosen by God no matter how cheated you feel. This is about scars, journeys, and stories. Yours and mine. Chosen, not cheated.

Koki’s Chosen Not Cheated TV Interviews:

Chosen Not Cheated: Books & Blogs (KTN) – Part 1: & Part 2:

Why You Need To Read The Book Chosen Not Cheated: Full Circle with Joyce (Switch):

What It Means To Live Like One Who’s Chosen: Living With Ess (NTV):

Sample the book:

Read Chapter 1 on Amazon:

Listen to Chapter 1:

Buy the book:

From Amazon:

From Koki (if you live in Kenya):  MPESA Ksh. 1300 to Buy Goods No. 388 686 and await a WhatsApp message with further details.

Show some love to Koki:






Have you ever noticed that the word – compromise – is mostly made up of the word – promise?

Another fun fact: the prefix “com” means with/together/in association.

Preceding compromise is the promise of something.

Adam and Eve had been given Eden by God.

Esau had his inheritance as first born.

Saul had divine favour and support as king.

Compromise results as a departure from the original promise to an alternative promise.

For Adam and Eve, it was the promise to be more like God in their knowledge of good and evil.

For Esau, it was the promise of a bowl of stew that would satisfy his hunger.

For Saul, it was the promise that his sacrifice would be more pleasing to God than his obedience.

On the surface, none of these alternative promises look like a terrible thing. Until you consider the price that was paid for them.

Adam and Eve lost the life God had intended for them in Eden.

Esau lost his inheritance.

Saul lost God’s approval and favour on his life as king.

Not every promise is worth the price tag it comes with. Especially if it means settling for far less than what was rightfully yours.

As believers, we have a ton of promises from God through his written and spoken word. But these promises often require us to wait for their fulfillment. In this period of waiting, we are vulnerable to compromise. Because, let’s be honest, waiting for something we deeply desire to have can get rough.

On the flipside, being familiar with a promise already fulfilled can also leave us open to compromise. When we’re used to the idea of having something or enjoying something, we never stop to think that one bad decision could result in us losing it forever.

There are three root causes of compromise I want to delve into:

The fear of being short-changed by God.

Re: Adam and Eve

At the core of this fear, is a lack of complete trust in God in a particular area of your life. There may be some trust but there could also be some doubt mixed in there. This results in a dangerous cocktail of I’m kind of with God but I’m also kind of not sure He’ll come through for me so I need to have my own back.

Ergo, taking up an alternative promise that gives you the illusion of control over a situation.

Are there aspects of your life where you struggle to fully trust God’s intentions for you or His ability to provide for your needs and desires?

Can you trace back to when this fear first began? Was it something that happened or didn’t happen as expected? What truth of that situation does God want you to now see and understand?

The hunger of now.

Re: Esau

Long-term promises like inheritance require a lot of wisdom in stewardship. What works in one season, won’t necessarily work in the next.

This stewardship requires you to balance your present needs with your expectations for the future.

How do you feed today’s hunger without squandering tomorrow’s promise?

The Israelites had the future promise of Canaan as they journeyed through the wilderness. But they also needed their daily supply of manna to keep them going. It didn’t just fall on their plates though. They had to go out each day and collect it as per God’s instructions.

What manna is God providing you with daily to sustain the promises He’s given? What instructions has He given you about how that manna should be consumed?

The fallacy of good intentions.

Re: Saul

Saul outrightly disobeyed God with the aim of honouring Him in the process. When put this way, it’s clear there was something off about his plan all along.

Good intentions are inherently not a bad thing. But when we exalt our good intentions above God’s intentions for us in a matter, we’re essentially elevating ourselves above God. Our hearts saying – we know better than You do, God, and so we can do better than You can.

The root of this is pride. It takes humility to acknowledge that we don’t know best and God’s way could actually be better than our own. Especially when we can’t logically see the how at the time.

This pride becomes all the more dangerous because it separates us from God. We can’t attain to/sustain the original promise we have from God without God.

What areas of pride may be resident in your heart that are causing you to steward God’s promises your way instead of His way?

Good stewardship is not an automatic ability that some have and others don’t. We all start from ground zero and have to learn. With intentionality, it’s something we continually grow in and work towards. Mistakes can and will happen. Grace and restoration abounds. When you’re diligent in reminding yourself of what’s at stake, you won’t be as quick to jump onto a fleeting moment at the expense of your eternal destiny.