Marriage Bed

Where Is Your Time?

How much time do you spend talking about your marriage/relationship/singlehood?

How much time do you spend lamenting and complaining about what’s frustrating you?

How much time do you spend learning about relationship matters?

How much time do you spend actually praying about it/for yourself/for your partner?

One of the critical lessons God has taught me over the years is that there’s a fundamental difference between talking about a matter and praying about it.

Talking (in the right context and with the right people) brings about agreement on earth. But only prayer can shift things in the realms of the spirit.

Both are important and have their place. Unfortunately, we tend to spend more time talking than we do praying. Not realizing that until we address the spiritual realities of what we’re dealing with, our talking will be in vain.

Today, in lieu of a typical Marriage Bed post, I want to challenge you to take time to pray.

Whether you’re single, dating or married, there’s a ton you can pray about. If you have prophetic words you’ve received concerning your (current or future) relationship, revisit them prayerfully. If you’re not sure where to start, the Bible if full of wonderful gems about God’s heart and mind for marriage and family.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how many blogs like mine you read, how many sermons about relationships you watch, or how many “couple goals” you follow and wish for yourself, there are things that will never change in your life until you tarry in the presence of God.

There are no magic quick-fixes in divine relationships.

But there is most definitely the power of prayer.

And it works.

But only for those who use it fervently and diligently.


When God Speaks II: Threshing Floor

This is a continuation of last week’s post so check that out first here if you hadn’t read it.

When God speaks, He’s giving a life forecast. He’s intimating what His heart and mind for you and your life is and what to expect in your current and/or future seasons.

If you expect God to handle your circumstances the way you would, there’s a likelihood you’re going to be ill prepared for everything that starts to happen. Even if things are similar to something you’ve been through before, God hardly ever does things the same way. He’ll certainly get it done, but you must be open and flexible in how it’s going to happen.

Part of the how involves the role you need to play in the manifestation of God’s word in your life. There’s an insightful sermon by Bishop T.D. Jakes titled the Deceptive Nature of Grace where he talks about the cost of grace. Just because you get something for free, doesn’t mean it didn’t cost the One who gave it to you. Just because you get something for free, doesn’t mean keeping it won’t cost you.

The assumption often made is that God will take care of all the hard work that comes with His promises and we get to sit and do nothing as we wait for Him to hurry up and get it done. And yet, while we don’t buy God’s promises, it does cost us to prepare for them and to handle them. It’s the cost of stewardship.

This is where the threshing floor comes in. It’s the place between what is in your life and what is to be as God intends. God has to condition and position us to receive and steward what He’s promised us.

The condition of our being needs to be attuned to what God’s speaking will unlock in our lives. Our minds need to be renewed to see and understand the promise the way God does. Our hearts need to be calibrated to learn how to steward the promise without dethroning the God who gave it; to own the promise and not have the promise own us. Our wills need to be undergirded and trained to do that which God requires of us. Our spirits need to be sensitized afresh to the leading of the Holy Spirit in so far as the promise is concerned.

Our position spiritually and in the natural also needs to change. There are divine promises we cannot access without moving to a higher dimension of spiritual acuity. For instance, this could mean God has to connect you with someone who can impart a certain grace to you to give you the capacity to steward what He has for you. Your position in the natural may also need to shift to accommodate what the promise of God is bringing your way e.g. you may need to change jobs in order to be in the right environment for what God is doing in your life.

“Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this: that power belongs to God, and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love. For you will render to a man according to his work.”

– Psalm 62:11-12 ESV

For all these things to happen, you must realize by now the high degree of direction you need from God to know what to do and how to do it, and what not to do and how to steer clear of it. There’s a principle my husband likes to call the realm of 2nd hearing where you continually go back to God in prayer to inquire of Him concerning something He has said. This means that when we’re praying concerning what God has spoken over our lives, the primary need isn’t really to remind Him (because He hasn’t forgotten) or rant at Him (because He’s not doing things our way); it’s to get direction from Him on what He requires us to do in preparation for what He’s already doing.

There definitely comes a point in the threshing floor when you realize that receiving God’s promises won’t cost you something, it’ll cost you everything. Your choice of surrender is significant because it determines whether you will cede control of your life to God’s leading or you will hold onto the reigns and continue to call the shots. It is folly to imagine that you can appropriately steward anything divine in nature without the One who created both you and it.

Perhaps, the most fundamental reality of them all, is the fact that when God speaks, it’s about you in part, but not in entirety. See, His promises to you aren’t just for you or just about you. Your breakthrough is tied to the breakthrough of others. It’s the bigger picture we must all see before God can grant us full access to His promises for us. His blessing is big enough to not just take care of us but to cater to others who need what He will make available for us and through us.

When God speaks, the question is never whether He can or will do what He has decreed. His part is as good as done the moment He utters His word. What’s really in question is whether we are willing to pay the cost to be the stewards we need to be to receive and handle His promises as He intended.

Are you?