Chosen Not Cheated: Life Edition

Earlier this year, my girl – Koki Oyuke – published a book aptly titled: Chosen Not Cheated. This month, my posts are a tribute to her book (and life) message. More details on the book after the post.  

“At a certain point, you have to decide to start living your story and stop waiting to live the one you think you deserve.”

Koki Oyuke (Chosen Not Cheated)

Sometimes being chosen by God feels like a rip off. We’re emphatic about the promises of God over our lives until we start to question why those promises and our reality are worlds apart.

Yet God’s promises are rarely instantaneous. More often than not there’s an in-between of waiting where you have to straddle your present reality with the future you know you could have but can’t quite grasp yet.

Waiting isn’t easy. It stirs up all sorts of questions in our hearts. These are some of the ones that have been voiced in my heart over the years and some of the truths I’ve learned to hold onto in my seasons of waiting.

Why do I have to wait?

We feel cheated when we realize we have to wait.

God’s promises are given to us on credit. He does indeed speak the end from the beginning – telling you what you’ll get in the end then beginning the work of getting you there.

This confuses us because the world works the opposite way. First you do the work to earn something, then you get it.

So we tend to collapse God promising us something with us being ready for it now.

But in God, we’re working from ownership of promise X not for ownership of promise X.

Waiting then serves to prune us and increase our fruitfulness as stewards of God’s promises.

Every obvious and hidden thing concerning you and whatever you’re waiting for will find expression while you wait.

And not everything that comes to light is pleasant.

You may discover all the ways you’re impatient, too fast, doubtful, proud, entitled, etc; all these are things that you need to address with God so you can become a better steward of what you’re waiting for.

God has already chosen you as a steward for every promise known and unknown to you. He’s not looking for reasons to disqualify you. He’s just trying to help you be in the best position and condition to receive and enjoy what He’s promised you.

Why do I have to wait?

We feel cheated when we think we’re the only ones who are waiting/have had to wait.

There’s no one who’s not waiting on God for something. One of the biggest disservices we do to ourselves and each other is to look at the tiny fraction of someone’s life you’re aware about and make conclusions about the entirety of their life.

When we compare our lives with another’s and make the assumption that they didn’t have to wait for what we did, or for as long as we have…we’ll easily end up qualifying our waiting as “unfair”.

But, if we’re honest, we know little to nothing about their journey. It’s terribly presumptuous to think that someone started waiting on God for something when they told you about it or when you found out about it. How do you know it hasn’t been a lifelong desire hidden in their hearts? How do you know they’ve not been going through their journey of waiting in private?

Only God knows the extent of trust each one of us has placed in Him for our lives.

Nobody gets out of this Christian life without growing the fruit of patience. The only difference is that some have learned how to wait better than others.

God has chosen to unravel all our lives in seasons, including those that require us to wait. When you’ve known the ache of waiting, it’s all the more reason to rejoice with they who have walked into their breakthrough. Because you’ve had a taste of that ache and know exactly what getting what you’ve been waiting for means.

Why do I have to wait?

We feel cheated when we don’t think we have a choice in our waiting.

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a season and thought – this is so not what I signed up for? I sure have.

When we feel like God has forced us to wait for something without just cause, it can throw us into despondency.

God has chosen for us to wait on Him for certain things. But that’s only half the equation. We also need to choose to embrace our waiting.

Some of those who know me in person have heard me say – this is the life I chose – in reference to some aspect of my life. I say it casually but the heart of it is a very intentional declaration.

I don’t have to do this. I get to do this.  

God has given us all free will. We don’t have to do anything as far as He’s concerned. We get to make choices. Waiting is one of them and so is how we choose to wait.

You can wait miserably as you lament about how unfair God is to you and dwell on everything you consider negative in your waiting.

Or you can wait circumspectly, with the right perspective – remembering the truth of God’s faithfulness and partnering with the work He’s doing in you to make you a better steward.

Either way, waiting is an active choice on our part. Even in running from it or trying to bury our head in the sand about it, we are making a choice.

Why do I have to wait?

If you understand the purpose of waiting, then you’ll understand the nature of waiting. It must stretch you. It must cause you press into God more than you ever have before and depend on Him more than you ever thought possible. It must reveal things to you, about yourself, about God, about others, about life.

This cannot happen if waiting is something comfortable that you do on cruise mode.

It will be somewhat manageable on some days, quite uncomfortable on others and pretty unbearable from time to time.

But rather than curse God in our delays and denials, we can choose to learn to seek His face, especially when we don’t feel like it or don’t want to.

If you want to learn more about how to do that, then Chosen Not Cheated is a book you need to read.

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